Author: scifinut –scifinut@gmail.com
Characters: Rodney McKay, Radek Zelenka, Teyla, Ronon, John Sheppard
Category: humor, pre-slash, friendship
Rating: PG-13
Archive: Ask first, but I’ll probably say yes.
Summary: A camping trip, alcohol, and the easiest game to play with nothing but minds. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
Spoilers: None that I could find, even squinting.
A HUGE thanks goes out to
dinofly for help with the Czech in the story. I have no beta except myself, all mistakes are mine.Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em. I don’t make any money from ‘em. All I get out of this is the plot bunny out of my head and hopefully letting other people enjoy the contents of my brain. If they can survive it.
Blue eyes darted around nervously. When Rodney had invited him on this camping trip he had made it sound like such a good idea.
“Come on Radek, Sheppard said you’re more than welcome, you’ve saved all our asses almost as many times as I have.”
Truth be told, Radek had been looking for an excuse to spend more time with Rodney outside the labs. Radek, despite common sense, had become enamored of the contrary man. Now, however, he was beginning to regret his decision to come along. The first night had been wonderful, sitting around the campfire telling stories about the past. Everyone had been laughing and having a good time.
Today had been spent hiking and exploring so Sheppard had thought it would be a good time to bring out the alcohol and begin a game of Truth or Dare. Ronon and Teyla were learning the fine points with gusto. Radek was still nursing his second…it wasn’t quite beer, it was a bit stronger…and felt like he was keeping pace well with everyone else. As the night progressed the truths and the dares were becoming more personal and risqué. Radek almost felt sorry for Teyla, but then realized that he was more on the outside as a non team member than she was being the only female. He was very welcome here, just slightly out of place in the team dynamics.
“Radek, truth or dare?” He heard his name droned out deeply and turned to face Ronon.
“Truth.” Ronon tended to come up with the craziest dares and Radek wasn’t quite ready for that yet.
The Satedan’s eyes held a mischievous smile. “Fair enough, then. Out of all of us here, who is your least favorite to work with?” Everyone else in the group nodded their approval of the question. Radek thought some grand scheme was being acted out, but he chose to ignore it for now.
“Is you, Ronon. Rodney is genius, Sheppard holds his own at understanding and Teyla wants to learn what she needs. You seem to not care about what I do.” Radek looked around. Rodney looked normally smug, Teyla was thankful, Ronon seemed amused, and Sheppard wore smug grin to match Rodney’s. “Colonel,” he said, “truth or dare?”
Sheppard rolled his eyes. “You know we’re on the opposite side of the planet from Atlantis, you can call me John out here.”
“John, then, truth or dare?”
“Dare.” There was an unspoken ‘Do your worst’ in that one word. Radek thought.
“You are dared to…” Radek trailed off as he looked around for something. He eventually came up with a pen and some MRE wrappers and began scribbling. Handing it to Sheppard he continued his sentence, “You are dared to fix and solve this proof.”
Rodney moved over to look over John’s shoulder at the proof he had been given. “Radek, that’s evil,” he muttered, pulling himself away before he began solving it himself. He sat beside Radek. “What made you choose that particular proof?”
“Sentiment. When I was at university that was part of a placement exam. I finished the proof before anyone else finished finding the errors.”
“How long did it take you?” Rodney asked.
“Two minutes. Is fairly simple proof, really. I’m giving him five then we check his work.” Radek gave an easy smile and sighed. Teyla and Ronon were having a quiet conversation, Sheppard was working on his proof, and he let his world shrink to himself and Rodney sitting beside him.
“We?” Rodney sounded a bit surprised.
“Yes. We. Unless of course you feel like you can’t check a simple mathematical proof.” The challenge was clear, Radek was testing Rodney, seeing how quick he’d respond given how much he’d been drinking.
“Excuse me, I am perfectly capable, but this was your dare, you get to do-”
“I’m done!” Sheppard proudly announced. He reached out and handed the wrappers back to Radek. As he looked over the figured Rodney looked over his shoulder. Had Radek not liked Rodney he may have been uncomfortable with his closeness, but as it was he was quite happy. Sheppard grinned over his work and Teyla and Ronon leaned in closer to hear their muttering.
“Congratulations Colonel. You did alright.”
“Call me John, please Radek. We’re off duty, away from the city, and getting drunk together.”
“Alright John. But you never play stupid again. If you can do this drunk you can do much more sober.” Radek took another drink and stared at John’s slightly surprised face.
“John,” Teyla said softly after a moment, “it is your turn now.”
John looked at the two geeks across from him. Radek was safe from John directly choosing him, but Rodney was nowhere near safe. “McKay,” he drawled his choice, “truth or dare?”
Rodney, perhaps sensing John’s boldness, hesitated. A dare would be dangerous, but John was on his game tonight, and sharp as ever. “Truth,” he finally decided.
John’s smile was even bigger. “Truth it is then.” He paused for effect. “How smart, compared to you, is Radek?”
‘Ouch,’ Radek thought, ‘that’s underhanded, even for John.’ He looked at the now-still form beside him. Rodney paled a slight bit, almost unnoticed in the firelight, pausing before taking a deep breath.
“Radek has his own strengths. In his own way, he is almost just as smart as I am. Not that he could take over my job for me, his knowledge is in completely different things. I mean, my knowledge of the city is invaluable-”
“Rodney,” Radek broke in, “I am not wishing to take your job from you. I would be crazy to wish it. I help you enough, is plenty for me.” Rodney seemed placated by this and calmed down from his agitated talking frenzy.
Once again at ease, Rodney looked around for someone who hadn’t been picked on in a while. “Teyla,” he said, “you know the drill.”
The alcohol was getting to everyone at this point. “I think,” Teyla began, “that it would be prudent to choose truth at this point.” Rodney looked at her, thought, and smiled a truly evil grin.
“Well then,” he said, “I ask you this.” A pause to think about the final wording and another large swallow of liquid courage. Ronon lifted his own cup as Rodney spoke. “How many men have you slept with?” Ronon choked on his drink and Teyla flushed slightly darker.
She paused in thought. “I have known only three men intimately.” John whistled and the two scientists began clapping. Teyla took a small seated bow. Radek, always noticing the team dynamics, thought he saw Ronon glower a bit, but was distracted from that thought by hearing his name called out.
“Hm?” he answered distractedly.
“Truth or dare?”
“I believe is time to try dare.” Radek trusted a dare coming from Teyla more than he trusted anyone else in this group. Perhaps more because of instinct, he knew in his mind she was just as dangerous as the rest of them, but she was also the most sincere in her kindness.
“Your dare…I would like to hear a song from your home.”
Radek thought back into his brain, trying to remember what he had sung as a child. Not much, really, but it was his dare and he didn’t have much choice in the matter. He took a deep drink to try to stall for time and the idea hit him. A drinking song, how fitting.
After a hearty round of song Radek took another drink. Everyone around him stared in awe. “What? Is problem?”
“No, not at all. That was wonderful,” Teyla responded.
“Oh.” Radek blushed. “Thank you.” He looked around the group thinking, sizing everyone up. “Ronon,” he said at length.
“Dare,” Ronon said without waiting for the question to be asked.
“Hm. I dare you to,” Radek once again paused in thought. “Ah, you are to wear no shirt all night.”
Ronon looked at him in disbelief. “That’s it?” Radek nodded. Ronon shrugged and pulled his shirt off in one movement. Radek gawked openly at the muscles and scars across his broad chest. “Teyla.” the Satedan seemed to not notice the stares. “Truth or dare?”
“I believe I’ll have to take a dare this time.”
“Stand up.” Teyla looked confused but did as the big man said. “Good, your dare is to go without your skirt all night.” She balked at him.
“Unless you’ve got nothing under there, and then I can come up with something else.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth the skirt pooled on the ground.
“Rodney,” she said as she sat down and folded up her skirt, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she was no longer wearing it. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth,” he responded without thought.
“Come on, Rodney, you can’t always choose that. The game is truth or dare,” John interrupted before Teyla could ask anything.
“Yes, truth or dare, implying a choice. I choose truth. Besides I don’t want to end up half nake like Mr. Neanderthal here.” Ronon gave a short laugh.
“Rodney, game stays here. You yourself say so. Why not choose dare,” Radek asked.
“Because I am So. Not. Doing. Naked.”
“If I promise to not make you remove any clothes will you take a dare?” Teyla asked.
“Fine, but let it be known that I do this under extreme duress! Dare.”
“I dare you to kiss someone for at least three seconds.” A pause. “With all of your clothes on.” Everyone but Rodney laughed.
“Oh, ha ha ha. Fine.” Rodney stood up to cross the fire to Teyla’s side but he reeled drunkenly and before he had taken two steps he fell on top of Radek.
“Hello, Rodney.” Radek smiled. “Did you come to kiss me?” There was more than a little bit of hope in his voice and it was clear in his eyes. The alcohol had taken away his walls and there was no way to hide the desire in his eyes.
Rodney tried to stand up and fell again, although Radek wasn’t quite sure it wasn’t on purpose this time. “You know what? I think I did.” Rodney sat up in Radek’s arms, threw his own arms around the Czech’s neck and kissed him deeply. Catcalls were heard from around the fire but the two scientists were lost in their own little world.
When they broke for air everyone else around the fire was grinning. Ronon even began chuckling at the two men before him. “Laugh it up, big guy,” Rodney said to him. “You’re next. Truth or dare?”
“Rodney, why do you even bother asking? You know what he’s going to pick,” John said.
“Yeah, I don’t get that,” Rodney responded. “When I’m predictable it’s a bad thing but when he’s predictable it’s okay? Why is that?”
“’Cause dares are more fun. Now hurry up and come up with something for me to do.”
“Alright, alright, I’m thinking.” Rodney sat up in Radek’s arms but made no attempt to extract himself, seemingly content with where he was. “That kiss I just did? Do it to Teyla.”
“Do you want me to do the falling down twice part too?” Everyone laughed exept Rodney who blushed a dark red.
“I don’t care, just kiss her!” he snapped.
Ronon wrapped his arms around Teyla and kissed her hard, mimicking Rodney and Radek’s kiss. Again there were catcalls and whistles, Ronon and Teyla kept making out. When they finally broke apart both of them had enormous grins.
“Man, I’m starting to feel left out now,” whined Sheppard. “Everyone else is getting some action.”
“Well pick a dare then.”
“Do I have a choice in the matter?”
“You could pick truth if you’d like,” Ronon replied.
“No thanks, I’ll take a dare.”
Ronon pulled slightly away from Teyla. “I dare you to get your skinny ass over here and kiss me.” Rodney murmured something indistinguishable.
“What was that McKay? I didn’t quite hear you.”
“Nothing, you kiss whore,” Rodney retorted snappishly.
“I’d rather have a kiss whore on my team than be left out of the action.” Sheppard leaned over and crawled into the Satedan’s free arm and began kissing happily. After a few minutes the scientists started to get antsy and started getting some action of their own going. Teyla forcefully pushed herself further into Ronon’s arms, but he was so engrossed in what he was doing that he didn’t notice. It wasn’t until she pulled them apart that the dare ended. Everyone took a moment to catch their collective breath, cuddled up in two groups around the campfire.
“Radek,” John said, “truth or dare?”
“I think is time again for truth?”
“Okay then, answer me this. How did you like the kiss?” Radek frowned slightly. After a pause John spoke again. “That bad, huh?”
Radek shook his head quickly. “Užasný!” he said, “To byla pusa!” He sounded half dreamy, as though he didn’t realize he wasn’t speaking English anymore, his arms were waving vague circles in the air. It took a few seconds for his mind to kick in that everybody was giving him strange looks. “Eh, wait, did you mean my kiss, Teyla’s kiss, or your kiss?”
“Which were you thinking about?” Sheppard asked.
“Yours, of course. Which other would I speak of?” He leaned over Rodney’s body, forcing his way into his arms, and grabbed Rodney’s cup to take a drink. Rodney tried to pull away, but Radek held him close. “I was joking milacku,” Radek whispered, hoping that Rodney wouldn’t know that particular word. He kissed the other man lightly on the cheek to reassure him. Placated, Rodney lay back in Radek’s lap calmly. “Teyla,” Radek raised his voice to normal levels again, “truth or dare?”
“Truth,” she responded.
Rodney cut in. “I think I’m starting to see a pattern here.” He snapped his fingers a few times. “You keep switching back and forth between truth and dare!” Rodney sounded proud to have figured it out on his own. Teyla smiled and nodded at him.
“Alright, is my turn to speak again. Teyla, was that the first kiss like that between Ronon and you?” There was no sound except for the fire crackling for a few moments. All the men took a few drinks.
“No, it was not.” Another pregnant pause. “Ronon, your dare is to kiss Radek and Rodney each in turn and tell us all whose kiss you like more.”
“You’re just encouraging his promiscuous and lascivious behavior you know!” Rodney cried out.
“And this is a problem why, exactly?” Sheppard broke in. “Admit it, Rodney, you’re just afraid he’ll think Radek is better than you are. Besides, he has to live up to the name you gave him.”
“I did not give him a name! Wait, what are you talking about anyway?”
“You called him a kiss whore. Everyone knows you can’t be a whore with just two partners. You need at least four.”
While John had been distracting Rodney Ronon had been circling the fire, stalking his prey. He decided the best course of action and struck, catching Rodney with his mouth open to speak and surprising him easily into submitting into the kiss.
Several long moments later Ronon pulled away from Rodney and began a new kiss on Radek who had been waiting patiently. When the kiss was over Ronon crawled back to his place between Teyla and John.
“Well, what’s the verdict, Mr. Easy Mouth?” Rodney snarked before Radek gently smacked his head.
“Radek.”
Radek, who had been distracted by the softness of Rodney’s hair in his fingers looked up quickly. “Yes?” he said at the exact time Rodney said, “WHAT?!”
“Radek kisses better. Goes with the flow more, doesn’t try to control everything. Now Rodney, truth or dare?” Radek resumed playing with Rodney’s hair, but Ronon’s grin at seeing this simply widened.
“Truth.” Everyone groaned. “Oh come ON, I took a dare last time and it ended up giving him a reputation,” Rodney gestured vaguely to the other side of the fire, “and letting him practically have his way with us poor scientists over here. It’s time for another round of truth!”
“Fine. Do you prefer sleeping with men or women?” Ronon asked. Everyone else around the fire with the exception of Teyla coughed or spluttered with surprise.
“Well, since I’ve never slept with a man in the way you likely mean, I have to say I prefer women, though I never am opposed to an opportunity to learn and change my mind.” More coughs of surprise and the smug grin was back on Rodney’s face. “Radek, truth or dare?” Rodney had a good idea what the Czech was going to say, and he was right.
“Dare.”
“Get down here so I can whisper in your ear.” As Radek bent down, Rodney’s smile kept growing. “Go infiltrate the goon love gang and grope Ronon. A nice big obvious grope.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider the dare? I do know almost all of your computer codes and have more followers in the science department than you do.” The trio across the fire could hear the hesitancy and doubt in his voice, though not make out the words.
“And I am the head of the science department and know all of your computer codes too, what’s your point? Now go over and do it.” Rodney sat up to allow Radek to go over to the others.
Radek approached the group cautiously from Teyla’s side. He had come up with a plausible enough idea to get to Ronon, but it involved being able to do it all properly without distraction and he didn’t trust himself to go to John’s side, afraid of what might happen.
He knelt down and kissed Teyla deeply. Ronon let Radek pull her away slightly and he quickly had himself placed where she had just been, leaning against Ronon’s side with Teyla on his other side. He turned and lean in to kiss Ronon and as the kiss deepened he reached his hand out and fondled the bulge in Ronon’s pants. As soon as the kiss was over Radek scampered back to the relative safety of Rodney, who just laid back down on his leg as Radek sat.
Ronon was still speechless, staring at Radek with an unreadable expression on his features. It didn’t look immediately life-threatening so Radek chose to ignore it for the moment.
“Teyla,” Radke’s breathless voice broke the silence. “Truth or dare?” His fingers once again began stroking through Rodney’s hair seemingly of their own accord.
Teyla thought back to what she had chosen last. “Dare,” she said calmly.
“Figure out what my dare was and repeat it,” Radek said. “Without speaking.” He leaned and whispered into Rodney’s ear. “Any bets on how long it takes her?”
“Hmm, no thanks,” Rodney mumbled.
Teyla knelt behind Ronon and began kissing his neck, her hands gliding over his bare chest. He arched his head back to meet her mouth. Her hands kept going lower, she stretched over his muscles until she’d grabbed at his crotch which only made him kiss her harder. He moaned into the kiss as she expertly kneaded through his pants.
John broke in complaining loudly. “Hey, has everyone forgotten about me here?
“It’s hard to when you get that whine in your voice,” Ronon responded.
“Hey, I don’t whine!”
Radek loudly set his cup down. “With all the whine around, I can get enough drunk without this.”
“Alright, alright, enough of that. Radek, did Teyla get the dare right?” Radek merely nodded. “Well then pick someone and let’s get on with the game!”
“John, since you seem so impatient to be in the center of things, would you like a truth or dare?” Teyla asked.
“I’m up for a dare, I think.” John was leaning slightly away from Ronon and Teyla after their recent dares. He didn’t seem to be nervous, just giving them space and distance.
Teyla leaned over and whispered into Ronon’s ear. He smiled widely, nearly laughing and nodded. “I dare you,” she began, “to let Ronon do to you what has been done to him.”
John nearly choked on the air he was breathing. Radek stared, stupefied. Ronon and Teyla started laughing. “Uh, um, yeah, sure. I mean, yes, I accept the dare,” John managed to stammer out. Ronon laughed harder.
He leaned over Teyla, disentangling himself from her body. Ronon stared by kissing John deeply as his hands slowly began to roam over John’s body, pausing here and there to give him extra pleasure.
As soon as John started arching into the pleasure and moaning, Ronon pulled away. “Nope, no more for you.” He smiled widely as he pulled away from John more fully. John smiled too, realizing why Teyla had whispered in Ronon’s ear first, making sure things didn’t go too far. While John could see the brilliance in the plan, he was still disappointed at the emptiness as the big man moved away.
“Rodney, I know this is a stupid question, but truth or dare?”
There was no response from across the fire. Radek looked down at the man lying across his lap. “I think he’s asleep, John.” He yawned deeply. “It seems I am ready to do the same myself.” His fingers still gently stroked through Rodney’s hair, a silent mantra in their consistency.
“Aw, fine, never mind then.” John paused for a long moment. “You gonna wake him up?”
“And you will supply him with coffee and stay up with him when he can’t sleep again and make him more coffee tomorrow and deal with his bad mood?” Radek’s question went unanswered. “If you will not then I will not either.” His mouth set in a determined line that John was not about to cross.
“Perhaps it is time to end the game for the night and get some sleep?” Teyla asked diplomatically.
John’s face bunched up. “I hate being last!”
“Again with the whine. Look, I’ll take another dare and we’ll call it even for the night, okay?”
John’s eyes lit up at Ronon’s idea. He leaned over and whispered into the large man’s ear so quietly Ronon had to ask him to repeat parts. Soon Ronon’s smile matched John’s. “Alright, time for bed. Teyla, I know how cold you get so you’ll come with me.” Ronon picked her up and carried her off in a way that left no room for argument.
“Tell me all about it!” John called to his back before heading in the other direction, leaving the two men of science alone around the campfire.
Radek leaned down and planted a soft kiss on Rodney’s forehead before shifting around so he ended up spooning behind his boss. “I’m glad I came,” he whispered softly to the night.
“So am I,” came the faint reply.